In perhaps the only good news to come out of the worldwide coronavirus crisis, Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) announced he will self-quarantine after interacting with an individual who tested positive for the novel coronavirus at the recent Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC).
Category Archives: Satire
Trump ‘didn’t know people died from the flu.’ It killed his grandfather.
The Washington Post reported that on Friday at a CDC photo-op in Atlanta, President Trump talked about the number of people infected with the coronavirus in other countries vs. the United States. He also compared coronavirus disease with influenza.
“Over the last long period of time, you have an average of 36,000 people dying” a year, the president said, gesturing toward National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases Director Anthony S. Fauci, who nodded confirmation.
Got a medical question? Ask Dr. Trump!
Around the Block devotes today’s column to Washington Post opinion writer, Dana Milbank. Thanks, Dana for “Twisting the News” better than anyone I know.
Trump: Heat will kill coronavirus
At a recent campaign rally President Donald John Trump (I) gave the cheering crowd his predictions regarding the fast-spreading coronavirus rocking mainland China and the rest of Asia. (Reports that no “Orientals” were allowed at the rally have not been confirmed.)
Calling it “rough stuff,” Trump assuaged the crowd that it will “work out fine,” and that with warmer weather, the virus will die.
With Trump, the Founding Fathers must be turning over in their graves
As we go from one Constitutional crisis to another, many people ask, “What would the Founding Fathers think?”
Are they turning over in their graves?
Now, through the magic of YouTube, we know they’re doing a lot more than just turning over.
Roger Stone sentence reduced
The Washington Post and the New York Times both reported today that in an unusual step, the Justice Department will back off its sentencing recommendation for Roger J. Stone Jr., President Trump’s former campaign adviser and longtime friend. A department spokesman said that senior department officials intervened to overrule front-line prosecutors who tried the case.
Neither the Times nor the Post reported what the revised sentence will be. But Around the Block can!
Trump “Loves Concord!”
Trump says, “Concord, I love Concord. I love Concord, oh Concord. You know how famous Concord is. Concord that’s the same Concord that we read about all the time, right. Concord. I love Concord!”
But which Concord?
EXCLUSIVE: 49er Super Bowl collapse revealed
Five days after the San Francisco 49ers blew a 10-point fourth quarter lead in Super Bowl LIV, Around the Block can reveal to the world one of the reasons for the team’s collapse.
Here’s the real story.
Girl Scout Cookie Civics Lesson
It’s Girl Scout Cookie season again.
This would be a good time for these girls not only to make money, but also learn something about the country they’re growing up in.
Stable Genius attends Davos Forum
Given Trump’s(I) status as both a world and business leader, he is naturally sought out for one-on-one interviews with the world’s media, like this one, where CNBC’s Joe Kernan asked Trump(I) to opine about Elon Musk, founder of Tesla, now that Tesla’s market value exceeds both GM and Ford.