Ukraine election interference? Trump: “Putin told me!”

News with a Twist

Founders apoplectic – Debating next steps

In stunning but not unanticipated news, President Donald J. Trump admitted today the source of his claim that it was Ukraine, not Russia, who interfered with the 2016 election.

“Putin told me,” said the President.

As reported in the Washington Post, “…the president’s intense resistance to the assessment of U.S. intelligence agencies that Russia systematically interfered in the 2016 campaign — and the blame he cast instead on a rival country — led many of his advisers to think that Putin himself helped spur the idea of Ukraine’s culpability.”

One former senior White House official said Trump stated so explicitly at one point, saying he knew Ukraine was the real culprit because “Putin told me.”

So, not only has Trump abused power and obstructed Congress, he is gullible and dumb!

And how is this new revelation playing with the Founding Fathers?

In an unprecedented journalist feat, Around the Block is unveiling the “ATB Time Machine” and going back to 1787 and the Constitutional Convention to find out.

Let’s listen in:

Thomas Jefferson: He said what?

Alexander Hamilton: He said, “Putin told me.”

James Madison: But, Alexander, are you sure?

Hamilton: I have it on best authority from someone who was in the room where it happened.

Jefferson: What are we going to do now? We already said impeachment is all about “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.” Those are truths we hold self-evident. We never thought we’d also have specify being “Gullible and Dumb.”

Benjamin Franklin: Wait, I’ve got it…

Madison: Here we go — if we uses that “a penny saved is a penny earned” line again I think I’ll shoot myself!

Franklin: No, not that. We’ll take a mulligan and put in “Gullible and Dumb” as well.

Jefferson: What’s a mulligan?

Franklin: It’s golf term. It’s when you make a bad shot and want a do-over.

Hamilton: What’s golf?

Madison: What’s a do-over?

Franklin: Oh, never mind. We’ll just leave it as “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.” I mean it’s impossible to believe that there’ll ever be a President who would live up to one of my favorite quotes: “We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.” 

Hamilton: OMG, there he goes again!

Jefferson: Ben’s right. Let’s just leave it at “High Crimes and Misdemeanors. I’m sure one of John Adams stuck-up friends from Harvard will be able to figure it out 200 or so years from now.

And, that sadly, is why being “Gullible and Dumb” is not an impeachable offense.