Trump frustrated with toilets

News with a Twist

Says people are flushing 10 to 15 times.

President Donald Trump has had enough of water efficiency standards and is taking a stand. At the White House on Friday, Trump said he ordered a federal review of those standards because they are making bathrooms unusable. “People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once. They end up using more water,” Trump said.

The obvious question is: How does he know?

Well, in an exclusive, Around the Block has learned how.

You know all that “executive time” in Trump’s White House schedule? Conventional wisdom is that during that time he stays in the residence watching his favorite Fox News Shows. That, we’ve learned, is mostly true. But a White House insider, on the condition of anonymity because she’s not authorized to speak, has said that at least once and sometimes twice a day during those executive time hours, the president leaves the White House and trolls public restrooms in the Washington DC area counting flushes.

After Trump’s comments the Twittersphere was lit up with jokes with many taking particular aim at how Trump seems to believe it’s common for people to flush 10 to 15 times. In response, White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham, without actually suggesting that the president regularly visits public restrooms said, “I want to make one thing perfectly clear, the president doesn’t ‘seem to believe’ this, he knows it for a fact.”

Grisham went on to say, “And, to show his commitment to rolling back water efficiency standards, President Trump has ordered the installation of new, old, toilets in every bathroom in the White House. After extensive research and with the assistance of the First Lady, there will be two types of toilets installed: the 20-gallon per flush Acme 2356 pull-chain toilet has been selected for all public White House bathrooms;

20-gallon per flush Acme 2356 pull-chain toilet

and the 30-gallon per flush Consolidated Super-X Crown will be placed in the president’s private bathroom.”

30-gallon per flush Consolidated Super-X Crown

Grisham went on to say, “All of us on the White House staff are anxiously awaiting the installation of the Acmes so that we can do our business per the president’s directive. And, of course, the president is anticipating that the Consolidated will allow him to do his in the style that befits him.”

One last thing: Based on this recent shot of the president’s boarding Air Force One, toilets are apparently not the only (t) issue Trump might have with bathrooms.

Published by Ted Block

Ted Block is a veteran “Mad Man,” having spent 45+ years in the advertising industry. During his career, he was media director of several advertising agencies, including Benton & Bowles in New York and Foote, Cone and Belding in San Francisco; account management director on clients as varied as Clorox, Levi’s and the California Raisin Advisory Board (yes, Ted was responsible for the California Dancing Raisins campaign); and regional director for Asia based in Tokyo for Foote, Cone where he was also the founding president of FCB’s Japanese operations. Ted holds a Bachelor’s degree in communications from Queens College and, before starting in advertising, served on active duty as an officer on USS McCloy (DE-1038) in the U.S. Navy.

One thought on “Trump frustrated with toilets

  1. He constantly makes me feel worse every single day, I’m watching the impeachment now, shaking my head, hard to FATHOM this, When d you leave for Iceland? Can you be at the December 18 board meeting I am speaking

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    Like

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