News with a Twist
The events described in this story will not happen – but given this election season, maybe they should.
As the country waits with bated breath for the Great Plexiglass Debate, er, the Vice Presidential Debate tonight, the Commission on Presidential Debates, already reeling from the first Presidential Dumpster Fire, er, Presidential Debate, in an attempt to generate more excitement, has established a Las Vegas-style sportsbook called “PrezBets” to oversee an “Over/Under” betting pool.
For those not up on the intricacies of sports’ betting, an over/under bet is a wager in which a sportsbook will predict a number for a statistic in a given game (usually the combined score of the two teams), and bettors wager that the actual number in the game will be either higher or lower than that number.
Now, of course, the Presidential election is not a game, but after the disastrous last debate between the presidential candidates, the Commission decided to pull out all stops to maintain interest in tonight’s broadcast.
So what statistic will be the basis of the tonight’s over/under wager?
With Vice President Mike Pence as a participant, that was an easy decision:
At what time in the debate will Mike Pence say, for the first time, “Under the leadership of Donald Trump…”*
(*the statement will count if Pence introduces an adjective between “the” and “leadership” like, “inspired,” “outstanding,” “magnificent,” “superb,” etc.).
PrezBets has established 20 minutes as the over/under. If Pence makes the statement after the 20-minute mark, those betting “over” will win. If the statement comes before the 20-minute mark the “under” will win. In the the unlikely event that Pence does not make the statement at all, over/under bets are off.*
(*PrezBets is also taking straight bets on Pence not making the statement at all, offering 100-1 odds – that’s known in wagering parlance as a “sucker bet.”)
PrezBets is taking both the over/under and the straight bets at their website, http://www.prezbets.lv.