Super Tuesday Stunner!

New with a Twist

Great day for Biden. Bernie retools.

After a stunning Super Tuesday performance, former vice president Joe Biden took the lead in the Democratic party delegate count. In doing so, Biden leapfrogged Vermont senator Bernie Sanders who many thought would exit Super Tuesday with a substantial, and perhaps, insurmountable delegate lead.

While results from the biggest Super Tuesday prize, California, won’t be finalized for a few days, at this point, Sanders leads Biden in the Golden State; when the final California count is in it is projected that the overall national delegate count will be very close, with Biden maintaining a slight lead.

The issue for Sanders, according to most pundits, is that the states coming next are not considered “Bernie territory” making the likelihood that Biden’s lead will expand over the upcoming weeks.

This is most evident in Florida, the state, after California and Texas, with the most delegates. Florida, home to large numbers of two segments of the Democratic coalition, African-Americans and Latinos, is key to the nomination. And Bernie’s support among both groups is tepid. Of course, Florida also has an enormous senior citizen population, Bernie’s actual demographic. But Sanders doesn’t seem to be gaining much traction with that cohort. This is best summed up by this comment from Morty Moskowitz, 79, of Delray Beach:

Morty Moskowitz, 79, of Delray Beach, FL

“What, are you meshuga? Do you really think I’m going to vote for an alta kaka who looks like me? Kiss my tuchas. I’m voting for Biden. He’s also an alta kaka, but at least he doesn’t look like one.”

But there’s more bad news on the Sanders front.

A week ago Sanders declared that whomever enters the Democratic Convention with the most delegates should be the nominee even if that candidate does not have the majority. But now that it appears that he might not be that candidate, he’s changed his tune.

In an exclusive interview with Around the Block, Sanders claimed he never said that the most delegates, not the majority, should be declared the winner. When confronted with the evidence from ABC News that he did say just that,

“If I, or anybody else, goes into the Democratic convention with a substantial plurality, I believe that individual, me or anybody else, should be the candidate of the Democratic Party”, Sanders told us:

Oh, that? You really have some chutzpah, you shmegegge you. That wasn’t me. That was Larry David playing me. I’m totally verklempt that you thought that was me. It’s a shanda…and you, a landsman from Brooklyn. He doesn’t even sound like me. Can’t you tell the difference? I’m from Sheepshead Bay; he’s from Midwood. You obviously spent too much time in California.”

Bernie Sanders and Larry David…or Larry David and Bernie Sanders

Moving on to the real issue for Sanders, what’s next to revive his campaign, the senator revealed new proposals to regain his momentum.

“Listen to me. You know why young people like me, vote for me? Because I’m giving them everything for free. Free college tuition, free healthcare, paying off their education debt. Well, I think in a country like America, we need to do more than just make things free. We need to do much more. So, today I’m announcing a new, revolutionary program, ‘Bernie’s Beneficence Brigade’ or ‘BBB.’ Forget about just free. When I’m president we will pay every college student $15,000 per year. We will not only forgive student debt, we’ll give the debtors a 10% bonus when we pay those loans back. And not only will medical care be cost-free, every American will get a $5,000 “Medicare for All” annual bonus whether they get medical care or not”

When Around the Block asked Mr. Sanders how he intends to pay for these extravagant programs he said, “Tax on Wall Street speculation, 90% tax on the 1%, tax on foreign earnings and more. Can you say ‘socialism?’ ¡Viva la revolución!

Bernie “Che” Sanders

On a final note, we couldn’t conclude our Super Tuesday coverage without a shoutout to former New York City mayor Mike Bloomberg.

“Congratulations Mike on your overwhelming victory in the American Samoa primary. With 278 votes counted, 99%, you beat Tulsi Gabbard by a whopping 72 votes and will win all six delegates! How’s that $500 million working out for you?”

Published by Ted Block

Ted Block is a veteran “Mad Man,” having spent 45+ years in the advertising industry. During his career, he was media director of several advertising agencies, including Benton & Bowles in New York and Foote, Cone and Belding in San Francisco; account management director on clients as varied as Clorox, Levi’s and the California Raisin Advisory Board (yes, Ted was responsible for the California Dancing Raisins campaign); and regional director for Asia based in Tokyo for Foote, Cone where he was also the founding president of FCB’s Japanese operations. Ted holds a Bachelor’s degree in communications from Queens College and, before starting in advertising, served on active duty as an officer on USS McCloy (DE-1038) in the U.S. Navy.

3 thoughts on “Super Tuesday Stunner!

  1. Funny stuff! Luckily we are moving in the right direction….a candidate who might restore some dignity to the Presidency!

    Like

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