Truth, Justice and the GOP Way

Commentary

Is this the new American credo?

After watching two days of Lev Parnas’ stunning Ukraine scandal revelations (see “Lev Saves America” https://around-the-block.com/2020/01/16/lev-saves-america/), a good friend asked me, “But do any influential Republicans care about truth and upholding their vows???”

That got me thinking and thinking and thinking…are there any?

Enough thinking already, I thought (that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but…). Sure there are. There’s Mitt Romney the man who has nothing to lose, the man who does not face reelection in Utah this year, the man who could probably be elected in Utah from his grave. But then I remembered the “News with a Twist”* column I wrote back in September where I broke the story that Romney is suffering from a rare disorder, “OSUFISS,” which makes it impossible for him to be critical of anyone who might be able to advance his career.

*For the uninitiated “Around the Block” readers, “News with a Twist” = “Satire”

Romney is suffering from Obsequious-Servile-Unctious-Fawning-Ingratiating-Sycophantic Syndrome, a genetic disorder otherwise knows an “OSUFISS.”
People with OSUFISS basically spend their entire lives unable to take a critical position on anyone important, particularly someone whom they feel can advance them. After many years of this obsequious-style behavior a yellow stripe begins to form down the back of the afflicted person, mirroring the backbone or spine. After about a month, the yellow stripe begins to fade, eventually completely disappearing. At this point, the patient has reached the point of no return and is effectively rendered spineless or without a backbone
.”

(Click here https://tedblocksblog.blogspot.com/2019/09/romney-wont-endorse-trump-why-could-be.html to read the entire story, “Romney won’t endorse Trump. Why? Could be the rare gene he’s carrying.”)

And then there’s Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski. But she was only “disturbed” when Majority Leader McConnell said he was “coordinating with Trump’s staff to work on the impeachment trial rules and defense.” Following that “disturbance,” Murkowski announced, “Am I curious about what Ambassador Bolton would have to say? Yes, I am. There will be this time in the process where we will have an opportunity to make a determination as to what further information we need. Whether it is for Hunter Biden or Ambassador Bolton.” Right, the GOP equivelency to make the case for Trump’s removal: Hunter Biden and John Bolton!

Perhaps a little more backbone than Mitt but not much.

So, I started thinking again and began to compile a list of the five worst, most cowardly, GOP senators. But first I wondered, “Where’s the Wizard of Oz? We sure need him to award some “Courage.” And, while he’s at it, “Hearts” and “Brains” as well to these 51 American “patriots.” And then, I remembered, oh yeah, I was supposed to “pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.” But I fantasize.

It’s hard to determine who’s the worst, but after yesterday’s performance, I reckoned (right, no more thinking) that Arizona Senator Martha McSally certainly jumped to the top 5. When McSally was asked by a CNN reporter, “Should the Senate consider new evidence as part of the impeachment trial?” she responded, “You’re a liberal hack. I’m not talking to you. You’re a liberal hack.”

So, I started my “Top Five List:” McConnell, Graham, Collins, Cruz, Paul, Kennedy and realized, “Oops, that’s six already and McSally’s not even on it.”

Top row: Mitch McConnell, Lindey Graham, Susan Collins
Bottom Row: Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, John “You’re No John Kennedy” Kennedy

So, rather than do any more thinking and editing, I created a new list. And, hurray! McSally’s on top. She’s #1 on my latest GOP Senatorial list of shame:

GOP SENATORS WHO NEVER WERE ELECTED!*

*McSally lost her 2018 bid for Senate from Arizona but was appointed by Arizona’s Republican governor to serve out John McCain’s term after McCain died; but only after interim appointed Senator Jon Kyl retired. So, McSally is actually an unelected senator twice-removed (or is it once-removed, I can never get that straight). She is running against Democrat Mark Kelly, a former Astronaut and husband of former Rep. Gabby Giffords, who resigned from Congress after sustaining a brain injury when she was shot during a scheduled appearance in Tucson.

Published by Ted Block

Ted Block is a veteran “Mad Man,” having spent 45+ years in the advertising industry. During his career, he was media director of several advertising agencies, including Benton & Bowles in New York and Foote, Cone and Belding in San Francisco; account management director on clients as varied as Clorox, Levi’s and the California Raisin Advisory Board (yes, Ted was responsible for the California Dancing Raisins campaign); and regional director for Asia based in Tokyo for Foote, Cone where he was also the founding president of FCB’s Japanese operations. Ted holds a Bachelor’s degree in communications from Queens College and, before starting in advertising, served on active duty as an officer on USS McCloy (DE-1038) in the U.S. Navy.

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