News with a Twist
Using $100 cordless saws from Home Depot
Satire from Ted Block
The Washington Post reported today that smuggling gangs in Mexico have repeatedly sawed through new sections of President Trump’s border wall in recent months by using commercially available power tools, opening gaps large enough for people and drug loads to pass through, according to U.S. agents and officials with knowledge of the damage.
According to the Post, the breaches have been made using a popular cordless household tool known as a reciprocating saw that retails at hardware stores for as little as $100. When fitted with specialized blades, the saws can slice through one of the barrier’s steel-and-concrete bollards in a matter of minutes, according to the agents, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak publicly about the barrier-defeating techniques.
Consulting engineers told the Post, “After cutting through the base of a single bollard, smugglers can push the steel out of the way, allowing an adult to fit through the gap. Because the bollards are so tall — and are attached only to a panel at the very top — their length makes them easier to push aside once they have been cut and are left dangling.”
While Trump’s taxpayer-funded barrier has cost $10 billion so far, and has been described by the president variously as “a big beautiful wall,” “a great wall, because I know how to build,” “virtually impenetrable,” “the Rolls-Royce of walls,” it appears not only not great and beautiful, but “penetrable.”
In an interview with Around the Block, Carlos Diego Garcia y Vega, a noted smuggler using a pseudonym to protect his identity, said,
“No puedo creer lo fácil que es atravesar este muro. Simplemente compramos las herramientas en Tijuana Home Depot y simplemente cortamos, cortamos, cortamos. Lo único que le digo a mi tripulación es que no compre esa basura estadounidense Black & Decker. Compramos Makita. Ahora los japoneses, saben cómo construir cosas.”
(“I can’t believe how easy it is to cut through this wall. We just buy the tools at the Tijuana Home Depot and just cut, cut, cut. The one thing I tell my crew, don’t buy that American Black & Decker junk, We buy Makita. Now the Japanese, they know how to build things.”)
Garcia y Vega added:
“Gracias a Dios, México no pagó el muro; si lo hicieran, habrían exigido un muro más fuerte y una garantía de devolución de dinero. Nunca podríamos ver a través de un muro financiado por México..”
(“Thank God Mexico didn’t pay for the wall; if they did, they would have demanded a stronger wall and a money-back guarantee. We would never be able to saw through a Mexican-funded wall.”)