Putin pulls out of nuclear nonproliferation agreement; claims Ukraine started war

News with a Twist*

Around the Block uncovers source of Putin’s delusions: Bronya, the Russian version of Sophie’s Barbie.

*(“News with a Twist” was the original conceit of Around the Block – stories based on real news “twisted” a bit for fun. In some cases the twist was, while satirical, plausible; so plausible that many readers didn’t know when “real” morphed into “twisted.” Other posts revealed the “twist” from the get-go. But, as the news became grimmer, as the “sides” moved further, irreconcilably apart, I found it more difficult, more disingenuous to twist the news. The story you’re about to read allowed me, if only briefly to resurrect the genre. Hopefully, this won’t be the last.)

The Washington Post reported that Russian President Vladimir Putin announced in a state of the nation address Tuesday that Moscow is “suspending” its participation in the New START nuclear nonproliferation agreement, the last remaining arms control treaty between the United States and Russia.

Putin’s rationale for suspending this treaty, one that’s been in place since 2011, can be summed up in this excerpt from his speech: “Our relations have degraded, and that’s completely and utterly the U.S.’s fault.”

While Russia’s pulling out from the treaty, which placed “verifiable limits” on the number of intercontinental ballistic missiles and nuclear warheads deployed by the signatory countries was the headline, other aspects of his SOTN, particularly regarding Russia’s “war” with Ukraine, were turning heads around the globe.

As the Post reported, Putin kicked off the speech with a now-routine mix of fervent anti-Western attacks and conspiratorial tropes about Ukraine’s “neo-Nazi regime,” once again falsely claiming that the war was initiated by the West, forcing Russia to respond. The Russian president, who for most of the first year of his full-scale invasion refused to use the word “war,” used it during his speech, but only to cast blame on others for the military conflict that began on his orders.

“They were the ones who started the war,” Putin said, referring to Ukraine and Western “elites” supporting Kyiv. “We used force and continue to use it to stop it.”

The Post went on to report that Putin accused the West of “using Ukraine both as a battering ram against Russia and as a training ground,” warning that increased Western military aid would prompt a tougher response from Russia. “One circumstance should be clear to everyone — the more long-range Western systems will come to Ukraine, the further we will be forced to push the threat away from our borders,” he said.

Response from the West was prompt and pointed.

“What was he smoking?” asked one European leader.

“Did the devil make him do it?” asked a U.S. senator who asked that their name not be used due to the sensitivity of the issue.

This was not enough for Around the Block, so our crack investigative team went to work and discovered that Putin was affected by the same demon that caused so much anguish for little Sophie, below.

The result of our investigation? Around the Block has learned that in Putin’s case, after being told over 100 times by his Russian Barbie doll knock-off, Bronya, that Ukraine started the war, he exhaustedly gave in and included this bit of Russian mythology in the SOTN. And the mythology seemed to work – at least to Putin’s toadies in the audience. As the Post reported, the reaction of the hundreds of officials and other dignitaries attending the nearly two-hour address, including solemn-looking lawmakers and officials, bored-looking religious leaders, and active-duty members of Russia’s military was four standing ovations in the best tradition of Soviet Politburo meetings.

Please note that this is a developing story. Around the Block investigators are working 24/7 attempting to obtain a video, similar to the Sophie/Barbie one, of Bronya telling Putin over 100 times that Ukraine started the war. Stay tuned.